Ytd I had a sucky nite. No one wanna acc me go KL to watch Golden Awards, so I stayed at home to watch the live streaming on ntv7 webby. A grp of us watching online, so I created a thread in forum to share our tots.
When e camera shoot past Zzen, we scream like mad! It was as if we c him in person. He was SUPER good looking ytd.
He was nominated for "Most Popular Male Actor" and "Best Male Actor" but he didnt win any of e awards. I was super upset. I cried when I noe he didn't win e "Most Popular Male Actor" award. I cried reallie hard. Lotsa cursing can b found in e forum. It's reallie damn irritating! We spent so much of our time n effort to spam e votes but still didn't manage to help him win e award. I can cfm NTV7 play cheat! Dey wun allow Mediacorp artistes to win de. NTV7 sux!
Tis is e first time I feel tt Zzenzation is so bonded. I love how everyone came tgt bcos of Zzen. I reallie love tis kinda feeling. Tis is wad I can nv find in DAInamics. When we nid everyone effort to support Dai, all disappeared. Thx god, Zzenzation is much more lovable.
Anw I was sumhow glad tt tis incident allowed me to uds myself more. I didn't noe I wuld cry for Zzen. I didn't noe I love him tis much. Perhaps next year Star Awards I wuld reallie support Zzen wholeheartedly and wun b torn between two.
It has been almost half a year that I hv been avoiding tings related to e man I love e most.
Perhaps u might tot tt e man I love e most is Dai, nope tts nt true. It's normal for u to misunderstand, cos I myself also misunderstood tt Dai has replaced him. I reallie tot aft dese few mths tt I havent been looking into tings related to him, n oso putting so much attention to Dai, Dai has replaced him, but it doesn't seems like it. No matter how much attention I hv been putting on Dai, occasionally I still tink of him. Whenever I tink of him, I will cry. I meant tt I reallie cried hard. It's ridiculous tt I hv nv meet tis man in my real life but he is able to drive me crazy. Frens ard me tot tt I'm reallie insane n were reallie worried abt me. I'm sori tt I've caused dem to worry so much abt me but feeling is sumting u culdn't control.
Since 23 Apr 2007, I've fall in love wif tis man, Akanishi Jin, Jap singer. He debuted in 22 Mar 2006 with another 5 members as a group, KAT-TUN. I reallie tink it's fated tt I wuld fall in love wif him. I've nv been interested in Jap industry. My sis used to admire a few Jap idols, but tt time I laughed at her n said "Dun b silly to like Jap idols, dey r so far away, u can't even c dem, hear dem or touch dem in real life."
One day my sis told me tt she went to her fren hse n e TV was playing a Jap gangster drama n dere were alot of handsome actors in it. I noe tt one of my fren does watch Jap drama, so I described tis drama to her n she passed e drama discs to me. She is unsure whether tt is e drama tt my sis is toking abt but tis show reallie hv quite a few handsome actors in it. I brought it hm n watched it wif me sis, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! It's tis show!!!" Indeed, my sis has a gd taste, dey r quite gd looking. The first scene tt Jin appeared in already attracted my attention. To me it's gd drama, n I quite like e actor but I dunno who he is so I didn't bother much abt it. Den one dae in sch, I took e newspaper which was left on e table by sumone n read it. "Ah! Isn't tis e guy?!" He appeared in e newspaper n e title was "Bad boy Jin rejoins band." I hv owaes like bad boys so e word "bad boy" reallie draws my attention to it. Frm e article, i got to noe a little info abt him n I went to e internet n searched abt him.
Here is e first vid tt I hv watched:
I was v impressed wif his high pitch. I melted e moment I hear it. Doesn't it sound beautiful? Hees.
Jin has reallie brightened up my life. Aft noeing Jin, I hv learnt how to laugh. Whenever it's abt Jin, I'll definitely reveal a smile. It's onli until last yr, sept, I cried v v v hard. It's e first time I was mad upset wif him.
R u able to accept e man u love doing tis? Even if u noe tis is jus for work? I can't. I seriously can't. In 2008, Jin's buddy, Yamapi, did a shot for the mag, Anan. When I saw it, I was praying hard tt Jin wun b e nxt one on tis mag. But I guessed god didn't hear my prayer. When I saw e photo on e internet, I cried v v v hard. Tts e first time I cried in front of my family. Dey tot wad happened tt can make me cried so hard. When my sis noe e reason for me crying so hard, she gave me a disgusted look. She reallie tinks tt i'm insane. e reason I cried was bcos I dun wan to share my hubby's body wif e whole world female! At tt pt of time, my tot is "He is onli mine!". Yupp, it's crazy, but tts how much I love him.
I took abt a mth time b4 I recovered frm tis hurtful incident n I continued loving him. Den half a yr ago, he hurt me agn.
KAT-TUN has finally decided for an Asia concert tour, n I was v excited abt it cos I tot I can finally see him. But tt man wasn't gg to joined e members in e concert tour. He is gg to LA to hv his solo concerts n KAT-TUN decided to continue e concert w/o him. Jin is v into western culture. He even went to LA for half a yr to study aboard. Till nw, he is still into western culture. When he chose to go LA for his solo concerts instead of joining KAT-TUN for deir first Asia concert tour, all e fans started badmouthing abt him. I dun even dare to step into e forum to tae a look cos it reallie hurt me alot seeing fans badmouthing e man who i loved e most. I decided to stop seeing his news until his solo concerts is over.
But aft his concerts ended, dere came another shocking news. Tis news was told by my fren, cos I didn't go into e forum at all. I broke dwn when I heard "Jin is outta KAT-TUN." Jin's agent, Johnny, annouced tt Jin will b cont his career in LA n KAT-TUN will nt wait for him. Frm nw on, KAT-TUN is no longer 6 persons. Tell me, how am I gg to accept tis news? To me, KAT-TUN has to b 6 persons, 缺一不可. KAT-TUN isn't KAT-TUN anymore if dere isn't 6 persons. KAT-TUN is made up of e 6 members name, Kamenashi, Akanishi, Taguchi, Takana, Ueda n Nakamaru. Dey each represents an alphabet in e grp name! How can dey kicked Jin outta KAT-TUN n still called demselves KAT-TUN?! It's ridiculous! KAT-TUN is nothing w/o Jin. I was v angry at KT-TUN, dey said, dey r ok to b w/o Jin. U guys r members, soulmates, best frens, how culd u said tt to hurt Jin? KAT-TUN was formed in 2001, Jin has be wif dem for 10 yrs n dey said dey r ok w/o Jin. Dey broke Jin's hrt, dey broke my hrt. I culdn't accept e fact tt Jin is outta KAT-TUN. I run awae frm e reality. I was such a coward.
W/o KT-TUN, will Jin b happy? Will he b ok? He is owaes quiet when he is in front of camera, onli wif his members he will b more comfortable. I'm so worried for him but I shld hv confident in him. But I gonna miss all dose times when KAT-TUN was together as one.
I gonna miss how he bullies his members:
How mean he was to his members:
How dey love to disturb each other's solo part in e concert:
e moments i'll miss e most is akakame moments. Akame is made up wif AKAnishi + KAMEnashi. It's a couple nick for dem. I love how dey interact wif each other. Dey r jus like a couple to me. A lovely couple tt meant for each other. I wasn't jealous of tt cos I noe Jin is v happy when he is wif Kame.
Lovely Akame moments:
Tinking of all dese wonderful moments tt wun happen agn drain awae all my strength. I was so afraid to lose dem tt I run awae frm e news. Act like I hv nv heard e news at all.
I dunno y Jin chose LA over KAT-TUN. I was reallie upset by his decision. But when dere is love, dere is forgiveness.
I tink half a yr of running awae frm e reality is long enuf. I shld face e reality nw. It's hurtful but it's e fact. I reallie miss my man alot n decided tt I shld go back to him.
Tis event was held on a weekday, I took AM leave to attend tis event. Dere were quite a few stars dere but only 2 FC went, Dai's FC n Jeanette's FC. I'm glad we hv e most num of fans. Hees.
His pose is so simple but so attractive!!! *faint*
Is he pouting?! So cute! Hehe.
Love his smile!!!
HUAT AHH~ He is so cute when he said that.
When he boarded e bus, i went to e side n knocked on e window to get his attention. Once he looked over, I did e hrt shape sign agn. He smiled sweetly when he sees tt! Hehe. U noe, when dere is a glass inbetween e people, dey will normally put deir hands tgt rite? Ours is different. lols. He showed me his fist, act like he wanna punch me lidat. So I showed him my fist too. Haha. Instead of hands, we used fists. Lols.
Here is vid:
Cos of him, I'm on mag again. Jus pray tt Zzen doesn't see it. (Click on the pic to have a bigger view)
He is finally back from Shanghai! It's suppose to be a happy occasion but iWeekly spoiled my mood.
My heart culdn't tae it. It hurts badly.
However, e moment I saw him, I culdn't hide my excitement cos I missed him just too much. I did a hrt shape sign using my hands. He saw it n he smiled shyly, nt forgetting to give a light nod to acknowledge it. Hees. It's e first time I showed my love to him so openly, I jus culdn't hide animore.
I was feeling great but the fans took out the iWeekly n get him to sign. Owwww. The pain came back. I culdn't stand e pain, so I walked away n stand at a corner. I tried calling Sharon n wanted to pass e phone to Dai for him to wish Sharon gd luck in her exam e nxt day. She didn't pick up my call.
Suddenly, Dai was standing in front of me. He stroked my hair n said "我先走了。" I was stunned by his action. He NEVER did tis to ani fan before (nt tt i noe of)! I was too shocked tt I culdn't response to him.
Sharon returned my call, I picked up but I was still in shock, I culdn't reallie ans her. All I culd said was "I call u back ltr."
Dai boarded e cab, he even turned n waved gd bye to us. So swt of him.
I culdn't slp tt nite, I was pondering y he did tt to me. It's kinda impossible for an idol to do tis to a fan. So wad am I to him? I guess he treated me like a little sis. N e tot of it jus made me so upset. I dun wan to b his sis but his girl!
I consoled myself tt even if he onli treats me like a sis, as compared to e others, I'm special to him. At least tis tinking wun hurt me tt much.
